ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
How's work?
Spinning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
