Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
