mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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