If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
