I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Green mimosas i think yes
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
