She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize