I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
This girl is more easily done than said...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize