OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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