Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she smelled like a LAN party
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
