I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
