Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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