home. puking in laundry basket.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
