OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
