Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
