Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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