Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
