that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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