he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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