I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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