Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
