sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Randomize
