smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize