I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
