I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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