Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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