did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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