we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
