You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
