Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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