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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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