I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
