apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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