Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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