Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize