My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize