yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
