i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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