I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
