i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
