I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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