There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
