Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
