Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
