I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
