You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
