Sry I called you an 8
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
