i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
