you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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