He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
