white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
