i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
