It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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