Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
