You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
