At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
