omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
3pm strippers are depressing
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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