If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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