I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
