your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize