a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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