I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
