I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize