So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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