Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
