We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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