There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
