So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
